Look On The Bright Side

“Anyone can blame: it takes a specialist to praise.” -  Konstantin Stanislavski

Perhaps it’s one of the gifts of aging.  With grey hair, wrinkles, and sagging muscles comes humility and perspective, which put the brakes on rushing to judgement, assigning blame and criticizing.  Eventually our personal quiver of mistakes, goof-ups and blunders fosters 20/20 vision for sorting out threads of positivity that are always there, sort of like finding a single silk fiber in a cheap, polyester fabric. It requires scrutiny.

Two or three days a week each winter I work as a Greeter at a local ski area.  A Greeter’s job is relatively simple - welcome guests, anticipate their needs, provide help, and answer questions. It’s not rocket science. Greeters interact with hundreds of people each day in brief conversations where listening is the crucial skill. With ears, eyes and minds open Greeters process information and decide what interaction is necessary. We hear about everything, the good and not so good.

Amid the assortment of characters who frequent the mountain almost daily are two loyal souls I’ll refer to as bookends. We’ll call them East and West. Paradoxically, East, synonymous with the rising sun and brightness, is in his late 80s.  West, representing the setting sun and darkness, is much younger.  East ambles past the Greeters each morning steadied by his poles on his way to the lift with a warm smile, his ancient skis resting comfortably on his shoulder like trusted pals.  As he departs the Mountain a few hours later, the smile is still there, partnered with a positive comment about the trail grooming, the lift attendants or perhaps the view from the summit.  Praise and positivity flow from this guy like the aroma of cookies baking in an oven.

On the same day, West can’t resist sharing how bad some of the conditions are, how inconsiderate the young ski bombers are, or how tedious the wait in the lift line is.  East looks for things to praise and West lasers in on what bothers him. Again, bookends on the same shelf. I’ve often wondered what the conversation would be like if these two guys rode the chairlift together.  Is there any question which person, East or West, has the harder job? Or which one is the specialist referred to in Stanislavski’s quote at the beginning of this blog, “Anyone can blame, it takes a specialist to praise.”

Whenever I find myself slipping into West’s negative frame of mind it’s helpful to track down dear Bessie and connect to her world for a while.  Of course she can’t really offer praise, but she has developed the wisdom to live her life on positive terms, regardless of hardships and setbacks.  I imagine a pack of dogs snarling at each other about the size of their dinner bowls, their monotonous diets or uncomfortable beds.  And there would be Bessie, off in the corner, sleeping soundly with her version of a smile on her ancient face, knowing that good things will eventually find her if she opens her heart and mind wide enough.

When it’s least expected, Bessie will find us and rest her head on our lap so softly we barely notice.  We take this as praise from a specialist who has plenty to complain about, but doesn’t…ever.

BE LIKE BESSIE!